wolfsbride: (Default)
I am slowly coming to the realization that perhaps trying to look after my mother in her home is not for the best after all.

My main reason for going this route in the first place was that I felt putting her in a home when she was still quite lucid would be a death knell to her. When I first brought her home from the hospital, her emotional state was quite despondent. She talked death and hiding away and other metaphors that reflected her wish to escape from this new thing that was happening to her. It was for that reason that I accepted the responsibility of looking after her. Also, at the time she was quite amenable.

However, as her emotional state has improved, her personality has become much more stubborn. As mentioned in other posts, she does not listen to anything I say. It's quite frustrating as we'll go to doctor appointments and the doctors will say now you must do this and this and she'll meekly nod and say yes, doctor. And then she'll come home and do the exact opposite.

I'm beginning to feel as though it would be better if a total stranger was interacting with her. I'm wondering if they would have better results in getting her to do things. For example, her personal hygiene is lacking. Like she'll wash up in the sink but she hasn't had a bath or shower or washed her hair for months. Every time I ask her if she wants me to help her with those things she blows it off or gets mad.

Today she went to take out the garbage and clearly got lost as she was gone for two and a half hours. I found her in the lobby standing around. I said to her what are you doing down here? She replied. Oh, I'm just looking around. When I mentioned that she was gone for two and a half hours and asked her if she got lost, she totally flipped out. I had been thinking of getting her some sort of id in order facilitate her recovery if she should go missing. Last week's class included a brochure for an id bracelet that is a bit like the medic alert bracelets in that if someone found her they call the number and then the staff would notify me of where she is. However, I could see that going the same way as the key alarm thing. She would probably refuse to wear it. I have been wondering if I should get a third party to discuss this matter with her rather than myself. Maybe if someone ELSE makes the suggestion, she'd be more likely to follow through.

The other reason I'm slowly coming to the realization that maybe a home is the better way is that even when the money thing is straightened out, I would be looking at having to hire several in home care people to look after her. I was thinking that this might end up costing the same or more than a facility would. Again though, there is the impact on her emotional state.

I think I'll have to talk to the specialist about this. Sadly the people at the Alzheimers Society are kinda useless for this sort of thing.
wolfsbride: (Default)
You know you take taxicabs a lot when the cab drivers squabble over who gets you as their fare; the dispatchers know you well enough to tell you jokes you actually find funny and you're the topic of conversation at company parties.
wolfsbride: (interpretive crows)
* This post contains excessive exclamation marks and chipperness. Please proceed with caution.

I actually when out to lunch today! With a person that was not my mom! And I had a conversation with more than a few sentences repeated over and over and over! Whoo!

And then I came home and watched a movie! And a couple of TV shows! And now I'm going to read! And maybe even think some thoughts!

wolfsbride: (pissed wolf)
I spent all day plugging numbers into a tax return. Why do you ask? Because I needed to see how different incomes affected the numerous tax credits and benefits this particular family is getting. Why does this burn my buns you ask? Well, let me tell you!

It all started this morning. I had decided yesterday that I would take a day off. That was a mistake. Never decide anything. Something always comes along to ruin any decision you make :)

Anyway, first thing this morning I got a call from the wife of a family I do tax for. She'd been reassessed by CRA and now will have to pay them back 600.00. Apparently, she gave me one T5 slip when she actually had two. So her income increased and her tax refund became less than they paid out. So she has to pay back the difference.

SO! First reason my buns burnt. I am not a mind reader. If, at tax time I ask you to send me all your slips and you send me one T slip and then subsequently I ask you several MORE times are you SURE this is all the stuff you have and you tell me yes it is, I am then NO LONGER RESPONSIBLE for any errors the government finds later.

Two, this family stands to collect 17,000 to 18,000 in tax credits and benefits between the two of them. This burns my buns because THEY ARE WEALTHY! Omg. Their house is huge; they have two rental properties in Canada and a house in England! They pay out 20,000 to a nanny for Cricket's sake. Yet, they are able to get these benefits and credits because on PAPER they are living below the poverty line.

This is all legal as the bulk of their wealth comes from real estates sales that they have already paid taxes on. However, this just seems very very wrong. Those benefits were intended for legitimately low income people and families, not people who work the system. There should be some way of preventing this. It's kinda disgusting.

It's especially disgusting because just this year the government started a new thing where if you're collecting CPP but still working, your employer has to deduct CPP from you. It used to be that if you were getting CPP, your employer didn't have to take CPP off your salary. But I guess with all these PEOPLE robbing the system the money is drying up.

This is the problem. NO ONE wants to pay income tax. I understand that. I don't want to pay income tax either. However, the REALITY is, income tax is how the government pays for all the nice things that we like to enjoy. The SENSIBLE thing to do would be to TAX THOSE THAT CAN AFFORD IT HEAVILY AND THOSE THAT CAN'T LIGHTLY. But we know how well THAT'S going to go over.

Also, wealthy people have lots more ways of avoiding taxes than poor people do. The person making 20,000 a year isn't going to be able to have the same savings, or RRSPs or Donations power as the person making 220,000 or a 1,220,000.

So yes! When she called me all... Wah. Wah. I have to pay this 600.00 back, wah! We need to start looking at ways to make sure we're getting all the credits we can, I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle her.
wolfsbride: (logan cartoon)
You know, sometimes I wonder if the unemployment rate has more to do with people being idiots, than a lack of jobs.

I picked up some stuff from a lady yesterday who wanted to save money by doing her own data entry. Apparently, she's been doing her own books for eight years but now she's getting kinda tired of it. Fair enough. Whatever.

I crack it open today. Okay, things look pretty good. A few things need tidying up but that's year end tidying so that's kinda my job. Then I get to her Receivables and her Bank. OMG!

Instead of entering JUST what she had invoices for and then either leaving the rest of the stuff not posted or posting it to a suspense account so you could actually get a LIST of the things that needed to be looked for, she blithefully went ahead and MADE STUFF UP!!! Uh lady. That's a great way to get arrested for falsifying records!

So now because nothing is detailed i can't even BEGIN to make sense of it. I'm going to have to back out all the stuff she made up and post it PROPERLY so i can at least see what i need to ask her clients for.


I don't get it. This seems to be a common thing. People can't or won't sit down and actually THINK about what's in front of them. And work things out systematically.
wolfsbride: (dream)
Omg! The year is one month gone already. Whoa.

Hm. Time to take stock. All things considered, things are going so so. On the one hand, physically mother is doing well. On the other hand, emotionally, I think she's bored and perhaps a bit depressed even. But she never wants to do anything or go anywhere and she can't do games or anything that requires mental cohesion, so until she gets over that I don't want to go out thing, she's out of luck.

Financially, I'm still trying to get something that will let me deal with the bank. I need to poke the specialist again. I think it's getting past the receptionist that's the problem. Some of those girls are like Nazis or something. You'd think THEY were paying the doctor they way they refuse to pass on messages. I may have to actually MAKE an appointment to see him just to ask my two stupid questions.

On the food front dinner is still hit and miss. I think I either need to confiscate her tea or find some way of getting the timing better. She's filling up on tea I think. Also, you know how grown up kids have a rude awakening when they hear themselves say something to their kids that their parents always said to them and they swore they'd never say to their kids? Today I said to my mom, no candy before dinner. I mean it's another thing for her to fill up on. I think I'm going to have to not give it to her when I buy it because she'll just eat the whole thing and not even think about eating regular food. And yeah, we had that conversation too, while standing in the kitchen.

In the meantime, I've decided I'm going to stop trying so hard. I've been reading a bit about Taoism and working with things instead of against them. So I'm going to try to work on the things I can actually do something about and let the rest go. I was making us both miserable the other way. We'll see how it goes.

My Alzheimers class has been helpful, not in a practical way since most of the stuff I've figured out on my own, but in the way of listening to where other people are at. Most of the people in my class are stilling working through the denial to acceptance stage. I've been really fortunate that my life attitude seems to be okay, we have a problem. Let's deal with it and get on with life. I've never seen the point of being all wah wah woe is me why me. I don't know. Maybe that attitude just attracts more problems to me. Sometimes it sure seems like it. But that's my attitude and I think I'll keep it.
wolfsbride: (Default)
So! Today is the deadline for corporate tax, so I called a cab to go down to the tax office so I could drop everything off.

As I was waiting, I noticed a HUGE group of Robins, hopping and pecking and presumably eating. It was raining heavily so I imagine lots of goodies were easily accessible. It's just that I've never seen that many Robins at one time before. I'd always thought they were loners really. Then I wondered if perhaps they belonged to the same family as there were lots of little ones and only a couple of big ones. I couldn't see exactly how many there were but there were ten on the ground and at least another three to five in the trees. Weird.

OMG! With all the technology at our fingertips, can we not come up with a way to stop people from running out of bun when they eat a burger???? What is it? Do fast food places and restaurants deliberately buy too small buns or something??? I hate running of of bun. And it seems like it's always the top bun that disappears first. Most annoying.

On our way down to the tax centre we passed an accident. A very bad one from the look of the car. It looked like it either slipped or it clipped another car and flipped over the over the median, plowed through the dirt on the side of the road, rolled and ended up smashing into another median. For my Delta friends, it was either just before going over the Arthur Lang bridge or just after. We must have driven by a while after it happened though because there was only police and one fire rescue truck, no ambulance so I'm assuming the ambulance had come and gone already. Will have to check and see if they say anything on tonight's news.

I don't know what it is about bad weather that makes people drive like morons. Maybe it's the old joke, where the guy was pulled over for speeding and he told the cop he was in a hurry to get home so he didn't have an accident.

Also! Note to car dealers, if someone comes to buy a huge ass vehicle, you should make them park it before selling it to them. If they can't park it, they shouldn't be driving it. I stood outside the bank waiting for a cab to go home and I witnessed THREE drivers of huge ass vans, take up two parking spots, either because they can't park the damn thing, or they were too damn lazy or my favourite, they don't want their precious baby dinged. Whenever I see someone do that I'm immediately put in mind of this comic.
wolfsbride: (Default)
I didn't go to my third class as that was the week of snow and I didn't feel like going out in the wet slush and breaking a leg, so I asked the lecturer to put aside a packet for me which he did! So you get two for the post of one

Below is a list of what he talked about and my thoughts.

1. Changes in Behaviour - So this basically covered the way changes in the brain create changes in behaviour and the types of behavioural changes that occur. He noted that behavioural changes are one of the first things that OTHER people notice about the person with Alzheimers. Memory loss is one if the first things people WITH Alzheimers notice in themselves. Unfortunately, because the majority of people with Alzheimers are older, they tend to attribute the memory loss to aging and so they miss out on a possibly early diagnosis. It was good to know that there is a reason mom is behaving the way she is.

2. Behaviour is an attempt to Communicate - Unfortunately its up to the caregiver to figure out what that communication is. I think I've talked about this before where my mom won't ask for food but she'll do things that indicate to me she wants something to eat. It's like trying to learn a weird sort of short hand.

3. Managing Behaviour - So this part talked about ways to try to modify the behaviours some what. Like making sure the environment isn't upsetting, asking questions to figure out what's causing the behaviour, etc.

1. Feelings - Omg. Let's just spend the two hours crying shall we. :)

2. Burnout - Warning signs and How to Avoid it.

3. Dealing with Stress - Same as above.

4. Loss and Grief - This was the most interesting part of the four as it talked about how even though no one has died, both the care giver and the caree has lost things and it's actually beneficial to go through the grieving as though you have had that physical loss because in a way, the person you knew has died.

Class 3 had lots of good information. I'm glad I thought to ask for a packet. Class 4 was .... hard. Listening to everyone's emotions. Didn't help that he started out with an emotional video as well. People were sobbing.
wolfsbride: (Default)
Ugggggh. I didn't do anything today because I woke up with a migraine. First one in a few months, though I'm not surprised. Anyway, I might as well have continued with my usual Sunday routine as getting my mother to grasp the fact that no, really. You need to leave me alone, just didn't cut it.

Sometimes I wonder if I made signs that said, you've already told me that or that answered the questions she's always asking me, would help or if they'd just be rude. Anyway, fortunately, her idiot gentleman friend came and took her to church so I was able to get some sleep.

I feel pretty good right now but man, I must remember not to let on that I'm sick ever again. It's like annoy you with kindness? Why YES!
wolfsbride: (logan cartoon)
There seems to be a new thing in games these days. A thing where instead of clearing a room, a tower, a dungeon, a whatever and that's the end of it, they keep sending you back and sending you back and SENDING YOU BACK!!! I HATE THAT.

I'm sorry but in REALITY - if adventuring can be based in reality - if I'm in dungeon, you can bet your sweet patchooti I will acquire every single thing of use in the room THE FIRST TIME AROUND! ALSO! If I'm being chased by a homicidal maniac, I am not going to not escape through the window just because I don't have the SUGGESTED proper tool for the damn job. I will BREAK the window with a WRENCH if I don't have a HAMMER, OMG!

The other thing I've noticed and hate in these games is the mousing. If you don't click on something JUST SO, the game refuses to recognize that you've touched the object. So you end up spending five minutes trying to find the exact angle at which the click with register.

If I find the person who's brilliant ideas started this I will stuff him in a room from which he can only endlessly escape.
wolfsbride: (Default)
Okay, so I finally got a hold of someone at Credit Card Services. Man, remember when you actually called a company and got a live person right away? What? You don't remember? Well.. Okay... Neither do I. Anyway, I explained what happened and asked them if there was something wrong with my account that I wasn't aware of. And they said, no that it was probably just the terminal. They suggested that I try using the card at a couple of different terminals and if I still had a problem to call back and they'd send out a new card.

So I did. And it was fine. It's weird the the other cards worked at that one terminal but not the credit card but I'm glad there is nothing wrong with the card itself. Doesn't solve the problem of what to do about the rent, but ... see title.
wolfsbride: (Default)
I should have known better than to be all positive and upbeat. That's just asking for trouble.

I went to buy some basic groceries and non food items and my credit card declined. Fortunately, I had enough in my two savings account to cover the cost. But that was the money that was going to go toward rent. I have no idea why it declined as I'm not over my limit and I'm making more than the monthly minimum payment.

So now I have to figure out what to do about rent etc as I don't have any money coming in until the second week of February. And I have to find out what's happening with my card.

Also, I will have to call the specialist and see if I can hurry him along in writing the letter that the notary wants.

Somebody just shoot me please.
wolfsbride: (Default)
THUD! I iz ded but at least it's 95% finished. I just need to print out the year end, punch the numbers into the tax program and print out the returns

That can wait for another day. I think I will take the rest of today off and wrap it up over the weekend.

Now off to snore.
wolfsbride: (Default)
Still working working working. I was hoping to finish today but it looks like it will be in the morning. I think I'm going to work straight through and go to bed when I've finished the year end review as well. I only have a little bit of petty cash to post and then I can start going over everything and making adjustments.
wolfsbride: (Default)
Well, I'm back to work. The last week I've just been kinda floating along not really doing anything. Not that there wasn't stuff to do, it's just that it didn't have a deadline to it. Also I think I was a bit blah and so the lack of desire to do anything. But I picked up a bunch of stuff from a couple of clients on Sunday as mentioned, and I've been slowly working my way through it the last couple of days.

There isn't a huge amount; it's mostly just double checking to make sure everything is posted and balanced. My goal is to get done by Thursday so that I have Friday free. We'll see how it goes.
wolfsbride: (logan cartoon)
Fortunately! I used my mother's credit card so it's not like I'm out anything.

The key ringers came in the mail today. I put them on mom's keys. Guess how long they stayed on there.

So that's it. I'm not dealing with this any more. I wrote up a thing that says she is not to ask me for help looking for her keys the next time she loses them and made her put her name on it.

Maybe it's harsh, but she wants to be independent and pretend like she doesn't have a problem, then have at it.

IF I should come across her keys on my way to something else, great. If not, she's out of luck.

I give up.
wolfsbride: (snow wolf)
So! I think cutting out the yogurt did the trick. I was able to get breakfast, lunch AND dinner into her today. Granted, I couldn't get her to go for a few veggies but I get one thing at a time.

Also, yesterday I met with a client couple, from whom I had been asking for a bunch of stuff. They had kept insisting that oh no! You have all the stuff! You must have LOST it! When I got there, they handed me three huge folders which they insisted was all NEW stuff and then we sat around and talked business for a while.

Today as I was going through the folders I was greatly amused to find that 50% of it is the stuff I was asking them for. Yeah, I must have lost it.


But it means I have enough work to keep me busy for the next few weeks so yay.
wolfsbride: (black wolf)
I'm on a roll here it seems. I'm hoping she swings back the other way before she loses the pounds she gained earlier. Will try and get her into the doctor hopefully this week now that the weather is supposed to be non snowy and we'll see where we're at weight wise.

I'm still holding steady at 266, which considering I've not been exercising or eating particularly well was surprising.
wolfsbride: (wakyou!)
So today not only didn't I get dinner into her, I didn't get much in the way of lunch into her as well. She wanted to make her own sandwich today which I was all yay about because I figured it was progress but then she proceeded to just basically have toast because she refused to put any meat in between the two slices no matter what I said. I just left her to it rather than get into an argument about it. But then she didn't want anything for dinner either.

Oh well.
wolfsbride: (Default)
I am considering cutting back my mother's snacks. I think that's part of the problem with the not eating dinner thing. At least I got breakfast and lunch into her.

December 2012

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