Day 18 - Science
Jan. 18th, 2010 12:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolfsbrideApparently, there was no science in the sixties. Or maybe there was science but cartoon makers couldn't be bothered to depict it. Probably cost too much to draw or something. Anyway, I'm thinking about this because after GI Joe there was Superfriends. I won't even GO INTO Spiderman, whose dying throes seems to have involved throwing Spidey into ever more elaborately insane scenarios.
So tonight on Superfriends we have KILLER MACHINES. The head scientist at IMB Labs has just finished putting the final touches on his SUPER COMPUTER, which kinda looks like a strangely shaped vending machine. He flips the switch and IT'S ALIVE! Having decided that humans are a waste of space, it reprograms itself and then declares its plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD. Why does everyone want to take over the world??? Think of all the trouble it would be! Try taking over Metropolis first, then if that goes okay, sure, take over some place else.
Anyway, apparently the scientist built a radio device into his SUPER COMPUTER. So the plan is for the SUPER COMPUTER, from hence forth called Skynet, to use that to control stuff. Now, I'm not a technical person but I would have thought that a radio controller would only work on something that had a receiver in it. Here Skynet uses it to control a laser which he turns on his creator.
When the poor man contacts the Superfriends, in a show of its prowess, Skynet takes control of the Bat Computer. I guess the radio device is either REALLY LONG RANGED or involves TELEPATHY of some sort. Or possibly both. One never knows with the Superfriends. The Bat Computer starts attacking Batman, Robin and Black Vulcan, who are the only ones left at the Justice League. The attack culminates in them being trapped in some sort of holding container and being bombarded with a disintegration ray. Black Vulcan comments that their atoms are breaking up and soon they'll be cosmic dust. Uhhh okaaay.
Batman comes to the rescue! With his BAT CAPE REFLECTOR!!! He reflects the rays to the floor and creates a hole through which they escape into the basement of the Justice League building. That's right up there with Indiana and his fridge.
Later on Skynet take control of both a phone and Bat Man's Utility belt to incapacitate them. Never mind that Batman's belt isn't a machine at all. He also drains Black Vulcan of his energy using some sort of rubber cement. All looks hopeless for our valiant heroes! Yegads! Is it possible? Will Skynet win???? No. And you know why? Because even a MACHINE falls victim to the MUST BLAB ON AND ON ABOUT MYSELF syndrome that villains are prone to. He babbles that when they're destroyed they will become mere memories stored on his memory tapes. Which reminds Batman that he's carrying, YES A BAT MAGNET. Man, he and Supes must shop at similar stores. So Batman wipes Skynet's brain with his bat shaped magnet and all is well! Except that Batman might want to seek professional help for that Bat Obsession he has.
Next up with have more scientists! And they're going to solve the world's food shortage! YAY! How are they going to do it, I hear you not asking! BY USING A RADIATION RAY!!! WHAT MADNESS IS THIS!! You're going to BOMBARD THE FOOD PEOPLE WILL EAT WITH... Okay, you know what. Maybe this is a hang over from stupider more innocent times. I recall watching an old Raid commercial from the fifties and it depicted a charming June Cleaveresque house wife who was spraying her bounteous vegetable garden with Raid. Cuz you know... it kills bugs dead. Kills people dead too at that rate but at least her tomatoes were perfect.
So the radiation makes the food giant. That seems to be a common consequence of radiation. Which puzzles me because it's not like we didn't just have WW2 with the horror that was Hiroshima and Nagasaki. But sadly not only does the food become giant, it also becomes carnivorous. NO NOBEL PRIZE FOR YOU!
Also, Wonder Woman's telepathy extends beyond contacting her invisible jet. She's also able to get visual images of something she's never seen. What do you mean telepathy doesn't work that way? HUSH UP!
And finally, Bizarro World. Bizarro Superman, who looks just the same as EVERY OTHER Bizarro citizen, so I don't know how they tell each other apart, decides he wants to get rid of the Superfriends so he grabs his handy Bizarro ray gun and heads off. Where he got it, I have no idea. I can't believe he built it himself. The guy can barely make a sentence. I have to wonder in today's prickly political correctness arena if he's still even around as a character.
Anyway, Bizarro manages to trick Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, Hawk Man and Hawk Girl - Why does he get to be a man and she has to be a girl? What's wrong with Hawk Woman. Can't compete against WONDER woman I guess - and changes them into Bizarroes like himself. Superman, however, he exposes to Red Kryptonite. Which in this scenario, gives Superman a pair of extra arms and legs.
And this is where we get the ONLY RATIONAL science in the whole half hour program. Superman remarks that he has no control over the extra arms and legs. Which I image would take a few extra neuro pathways to work around. I'm ignoring the fact that Kryptonite is radioactive meteor chunks. Superman's an alien. He can handle it.
So, his friends are all against him now so Superman flies off the his Fortress of Huge Iceberg Looking Thing. Where he JUST HAPPENS TO HAVE AN ANTI BIZARRO RAY LYING AROUND. For, like Foghorn Leghorn, just such an emergency, I imagine. Presto changeo! He cures his friends, then exposes Bizarro to Blue Kryptonite which is like Green Kryptonite to him.
How many darn colours does Kryptonite come in anyway? Sounds like you could accessorise with whatever outfit you happened to be wearing. Perfect for the well dressed villain.
So remember kids! Science is your friend! Except for when it's trying to kill you dead.
EDIT: OMG!!! Superfriends was NOT from the 60s!!! I was putting it up there with Spiderman but it's actually from the 70s! It ran from 1973 to 1986!!!! THAT MAKES IS SO MUCH WORSE!!!! I sincerely hope the science in the episodes from the 80s was improved!
So tonight on Superfriends we have KILLER MACHINES. The head scientist at IMB Labs has just finished putting the final touches on his SUPER COMPUTER, which kinda looks like a strangely shaped vending machine. He flips the switch and IT'S ALIVE! Having decided that humans are a waste of space, it reprograms itself and then declares its plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD. Why does everyone want to take over the world??? Think of all the trouble it would be! Try taking over Metropolis first, then if that goes okay, sure, take over some place else.
Anyway, apparently the scientist built a radio device into his SUPER COMPUTER. So the plan is for the SUPER COMPUTER, from hence forth called Skynet, to use that to control stuff. Now, I'm not a technical person but I would have thought that a radio controller would only work on something that had a receiver in it. Here Skynet uses it to control a laser which he turns on his creator.
When the poor man contacts the Superfriends, in a show of its prowess, Skynet takes control of the Bat Computer. I guess the radio device is either REALLY LONG RANGED or involves TELEPATHY of some sort. Or possibly both. One never knows with the Superfriends. The Bat Computer starts attacking Batman, Robin and Black Vulcan, who are the only ones left at the Justice League. The attack culminates in them being trapped in some sort of holding container and being bombarded with a disintegration ray. Black Vulcan comments that their atoms are breaking up and soon they'll be cosmic dust. Uhhh okaaay.
Batman comes to the rescue! With his BAT CAPE REFLECTOR!!! He reflects the rays to the floor and creates a hole through which they escape into the basement of the Justice League building. That's right up there with Indiana and his fridge.
Later on Skynet take control of both a phone and Bat Man's Utility belt to incapacitate them. Never mind that Batman's belt isn't a machine at all. He also drains Black Vulcan of his energy using some sort of rubber cement. All looks hopeless for our valiant heroes! Yegads! Is it possible? Will Skynet win???? No. And you know why? Because even a MACHINE falls victim to the MUST BLAB ON AND ON ABOUT MYSELF syndrome that villains are prone to. He babbles that when they're destroyed they will become mere memories stored on his memory tapes. Which reminds Batman that he's carrying, YES A BAT MAGNET. Man, he and Supes must shop at similar stores. So Batman wipes Skynet's brain with his bat shaped magnet and all is well! Except that Batman might want to seek professional help for that Bat Obsession he has.
Next up with have more scientists! And they're going to solve the world's food shortage! YAY! How are they going to do it, I hear you not asking! BY USING A RADIATION RAY!!! WHAT MADNESS IS THIS!! You're going to BOMBARD THE FOOD PEOPLE WILL EAT WITH... Okay, you know what. Maybe this is a hang over from stupider more innocent times. I recall watching an old Raid commercial from the fifties and it depicted a charming June Cleaveresque house wife who was spraying her bounteous vegetable garden with Raid. Cuz you know... it kills bugs dead. Kills people dead too at that rate but at least her tomatoes were perfect.
So the radiation makes the food giant. That seems to be a common consequence of radiation. Which puzzles me because it's not like we didn't just have WW2 with the horror that was Hiroshima and Nagasaki. But sadly not only does the food become giant, it also becomes carnivorous. NO NOBEL PRIZE FOR YOU!
Also, Wonder Woman's telepathy extends beyond contacting her invisible jet. She's also able to get visual images of something she's never seen. What do you mean telepathy doesn't work that way? HUSH UP!
And finally, Bizarro World. Bizarro Superman, who looks just the same as EVERY OTHER Bizarro citizen, so I don't know how they tell each other apart, decides he wants to get rid of the Superfriends so he grabs his handy Bizarro ray gun and heads off. Where he got it, I have no idea. I can't believe he built it himself. The guy can barely make a sentence. I have to wonder in today's prickly political correctness arena if he's still even around as a character.
Anyway, Bizarro manages to trick Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, Hawk Man and Hawk Girl - Why does he get to be a man and she has to be a girl? What's wrong with Hawk Woman. Can't compete against WONDER woman I guess - and changes them into Bizarroes like himself. Superman, however, he exposes to Red Kryptonite. Which in this scenario, gives Superman a pair of extra arms and legs.
And this is where we get the ONLY RATIONAL science in the whole half hour program. Superman remarks that he has no control over the extra arms and legs. Which I image would take a few extra neuro pathways to work around. I'm ignoring the fact that Kryptonite is radioactive meteor chunks. Superman's an alien. He can handle it.
So, his friends are all against him now so Superman flies off the his Fortress of Huge Iceberg Looking Thing. Where he JUST HAPPENS TO HAVE AN ANTI BIZARRO RAY LYING AROUND. For, like Foghorn Leghorn, just such an emergency, I imagine. Presto changeo! He cures his friends, then exposes Bizarro to Blue Kryptonite which is like Green Kryptonite to him.
How many darn colours does Kryptonite come in anyway? Sounds like you could accessorise with whatever outfit you happened to be wearing. Perfect for the well dressed villain.
So remember kids! Science is your friend! Except for when it's trying to kill you dead.
EDIT: OMG!!! Superfriends was NOT from the 60s!!! I was putting it up there with Spiderman but it's actually from the 70s! It ran from 1973 to 1986!!!! THAT MAKES IS SO MUCH WORSE!!!! I sincerely hope the science in the episodes from the 80s was improved!
