Day 67 - Diet is DIE with a T Part 4
Mar. 8th, 2010 09:46 pmSo! My boss' blood test came back today! The results?
- Electrolytes out of whack
- Liver enzymes off the chart - which, for those of us who DO NOT play doctors on TV, means her liver was killing itself trying to detox her body.
- Kidneys - HAD SHUT DOWN!
Evidenced by the fact that one day she remarked to me - "I'm drinking a lot of water on this diet but I'm not peeing.
Me: O_O!!! Uh... Maybe there's something wrong with your kidneys? The not peeing comment was especially shocking because.. wait for it.. SHE'S ON A DIURETIC!!! I'm on a diuretic and let me tell you, there's no NOT PEEING with those things if your kidneys are working right.
Boss: *waves hand dismissively* Oh, it couldn't be that!
Uh. Yeah.
- Thyroid went from being under active to being crazily over active. So much so that she has to come off her thyroid medication, since HEY! IT'S NOT UNDER ACTIVE ANYMORE! I guess that's a cure.
- Total dehydration - Which kinda makes me wonder where all the water she was drinking went.
- Toxic content off the chart and through the roof. See comment about the liver.
She has to get another blood test at the end of this month and then continue to get it every three months FOR THE NEXT YEAR so that the doctor can monitor her body chemistry and make sure it's coming back to where it should be.
Want the punchline? SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED THAT THE DOCTOR TOLD HER NO WAY IN HELL WAS SHE ALLOWED TO GO BACK ON THE DIET.
In case you didn't get that, I'll repeat it. THE STUPID MORON WANTED TO GO BACK ON THE DIET!!! Yes. Amazing I know. To hear her tell it, it's the ONLY DIET THAT WORKED FOR HER!!!
My co-worker and I both had the same dumbfounded expression when she said this. After a moment of silence for her common sense, I ventured to comment that I wouldn't call a diet that almost killed one a diet that worked.
My boss' response? Oh but I lost so much weight!
I guess when she's dead, she'll take pleasure in the fact that her coffin was a size ten.
- Electrolytes out of whack
- Liver enzymes off the chart - which, for those of us who DO NOT play doctors on TV, means her liver was killing itself trying to detox her body.
- Kidneys - HAD SHUT DOWN!
Evidenced by the fact that one day she remarked to me - "I'm drinking a lot of water on this diet but I'm not peeing.
Me: O_O!!! Uh... Maybe there's something wrong with your kidneys? The not peeing comment was especially shocking because.. wait for it.. SHE'S ON A DIURETIC!!! I'm on a diuretic and let me tell you, there's no NOT PEEING with those things if your kidneys are working right.
Boss: *waves hand dismissively* Oh, it couldn't be that!
Uh. Yeah.
- Thyroid went from being under active to being crazily over active. So much so that she has to come off her thyroid medication, since HEY! IT'S NOT UNDER ACTIVE ANYMORE! I guess that's a cure.
- Total dehydration - Which kinda makes me wonder where all the water she was drinking went.
- Toxic content off the chart and through the roof. See comment about the liver.
She has to get another blood test at the end of this month and then continue to get it every three months FOR THE NEXT YEAR so that the doctor can monitor her body chemistry and make sure it's coming back to where it should be.
Want the punchline? SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED THAT THE DOCTOR TOLD HER NO WAY IN HELL WAS SHE ALLOWED TO GO BACK ON THE DIET.
In case you didn't get that, I'll repeat it. THE STUPID MORON WANTED TO GO BACK ON THE DIET!!! Yes. Amazing I know. To hear her tell it, it's the ONLY DIET THAT WORKED FOR HER!!!
My co-worker and I both had the same dumbfounded expression when she said this. After a moment of silence for her common sense, I ventured to comment that I wouldn't call a diet that almost killed one a diet that worked.
My boss' response? Oh but I lost so much weight!
I guess when she's dead, she'll take pleasure in the fact that her coffin was a size ten.