Day 75 - SOP
Mar. 16th, 2011 05:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolfsbrideOkay a couple of weeks ago I babbled about getting diagnosed with diabetes and that I had an appointment with a specialist coming up. So today was that day.
Before I babble about whatever, I'd just like to say... the standard operating procedure for medical things is totally ridiculous. For example, I got my diagnosis the last week of February. Three weeks later, I'm getting to see the specialist. I assume it will be another three weeks before I actually get to go to the clinic where they will teach me about the machine, and the medication and the diet and blah blah.
How stupid is that? It would be FAR MORE USEFUL for them to GIVE YOU A MACHINE as soon as you get diagnosed and send you to the clinic so you know what the hell is going on and THEN send you to the specialist. I mean to give you an idea of how stupid the way they are doing it is, the FIRST thing the specialist asked me when I went to see him was... so what are you sugar levels? Actually, it was the FIRST thing the receptionist asked me when she called to give me the appointment date. She was all... so you're monitoring your sugar right? And I'm like.. uhhhh no? Long pause on her side of the line. Oh. Okay fine. LIKE SO SORRY but I didn't KNOW I was going to get diabetes so I'm not like RUNNING around with a machine that I can use to suddenly start tracking my sugars.So the specialist is babbling away and I'm sitting there thinking, you know, if I didn't have friends with diabetes who had told me stuff before hand, I'd have no idea what you're blathering on about.
The other annoying thing is that diabetes has a set of specific symptoms, three of which I've been manifesting for the last couple of months. Now because I have some many other health problems, I just thought THOSE symptoms were related to my other health problems. For example, my blood pressure has been higher than normal. Turns out diabetes can push your blood pressure up. I've been PEEING constantly. I just thought it was because the new water pill I was on was a lot stronger than my old one. Turns out diabetes causes excessive peeing. I've been having problems focusing my eyes. I thought it was to do with my glaucoma. No, it turns out diabetes affects your nervous systems so it can cause blurred vision.
LIKE HELLO.... isn't that why you go to med school, so you can tell me these things? It wasn't until the blood work came back with elevated levels of whatever they look for with diabetes that I got the whole, oh yeah that's a symptom; that's a symptom; that's a symptom. It's almost like you, the patient, have to take the first two years of med school, so you can understand what your own body is telling you, because the idiot doctors can't connect the dots. I mean, honestly! I could have been diagnosed months ago probably.
So anyway, the doctor gave me a prescription for Crestor which is for lowering cholesterol and for Metphormin which is for lowering blood sugar. And he was all... I'll do a referral for the clinic and I want to see you back in a month, bring a list of your sugars. Now considering I don't know WHEN the appointment for the clinic will be, and you don't get a machine until you go to the clinic, that's another stupid thing right there. How am I supposed to monitor my sugars without a machine?
Luckily, my pharmacist is right next door, so when I went over to get the prescription filled I asked him for all the stuff you need to do that. To me there's no point in waiting around for it. LET ME TELL YOU IT'S HIGHWAY ROBBERY WHAT THEY CHARGE FOR THE BLOOD STRIPS. A box of one hundred strips cost 99.99. And of course neither the government medical nor my private medical plan covers that. And NATURALLY, each machine has it's own kinda strips so that you can't even ask your friend.. who has an awesome medical plan and pays two dollars for her strips to get you some. Unless you have the foresight to plan ahead and get the same kind of machine.
So then the specialist also sends me for some more blood work. He wants to do a special blood sugar test that can show what your sugars were for the last three months. Fine. And a urine test. Oh. Well, if only I HAD KNOWN... I wouldn't have peed before I left home. Couldn't they just SAY we may need to test your urine today, don't pee. I don't know. Maybe they think you have nothing else to do but run around all week getting tests done.
So I go there and they can't read the doctor's writing. The admitting desk is like okay, we'll do blah blah blah and I'm like... What about the pill? And the lady at the desk is all... pill? What pill? So I'm all... The doctor said you'd give me a pill and then take blood... the next day I think? And then the admitting lady looks at the sheet again... squints... holds it up to the light... goes to ask her colleague... I can hear her in the other room... I think that's a ver.. and it ends with a ist? OH! IT'S SUCH AND SUCH A TEST! OHHH OKAY!! Then she comes back out and changes the test she was going to do.
LIKE HOLY MALPRACTICE SUIT, BATMAN!!!! PEOPLE ARE GUESSING AT WHAT TESTS I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE DONE. THIS IS INCREDIBLY REASSURING TO ME!!!
So after we get THAT straightened out, she hands me this little bottle. We need a urine sample. I'm like... Uhh.. I peed already. I have none to give you. She's all... go try anyway; you never know! People should not be that chipper when asking for pee.
WARNING: NEXT FEW PARAGRAPHS HAS CONTENT RELATING TO BODY FLUIDS AND MALE AND FEMALE PARTS. PROCEED AT OWN RISK!
1
2
3
4
5
So I take this little bottle into the bathroom. Okay, if any guys should read this, I'll preface this part by saying no offense, gentlemen, but frankly? WHY THE HELL ARE THERE NO ANATOMICALLY CORRECT URINE SAMPLE BOTTLES FOR WOMEN???? Guys conveniently have this HOSE that they can just shove into the opening of whatever container they happen to get. Not so with women.
I'm in the bathroom with my little bottle squatting over the toilet trying to figure out what's the right place to hold the bottle so that if I do pee, it ends up in the bottle. I find myself wishing I had a mirror. Finally, I figure I've got the bottle somewhat in the correct spot and I squat there waiting for something to happen. *doo dee doo dee doo*
After a minute or so, I feel a tingle. Okay. *doo dee doo doo doo dee* I'm still waiting. Another minute goes by and I'm like cajoling my body, come on, come on! We haven't got all day! It's kinda like that whole waiting to sneeze sensation. Annoying as hell.
Finally, my bladder gets with the program and I pee. All over the bottle and my hand. Yay! My life is now complete. While I'm piddling all over myself, I keep shifting the bottle hoping like hell SOMETHING is getting in there and hoping when the lady said they only needed a little bit for the test, they were speaking literally. I finish and grab some toilet paper to wrap the bottle in because it's now damp.
I clean myself up and then I go wash my hands AND the bottle because I figure it's only polite not to give them back a pee soaked bottle. I kinda wonder if anyone else bothers. I even wipe down the counters with soap and water. The bottle is a quarter full. I hope that's enough.
The most amusing part of the whole day, however, was once again, THE GOWN! OMG!!! This time it was the paper kind. The person that came up with the paper gown should be shot. I suppose it's cheaper to use because you don't have to send them out to be washed or whatever but I HATE the paper gowns even more than the regular ones because at least the regular ones come in small, medium, large, so they can PRETEND like they have something to fit you. The paper ones are one size and I'm always afraid they're going to just rip apart anyway. And the plastic tie that goes with it is like 36 inches long, which means you have to have like an 18 inch waist to tie it around you. Needless to say, it was useless to me. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I would rather see the doctor naked. I would consider it much less insulting than to try to cram my body into a gown meant to be worn by a twig.
So! That was my day. How was yours?
Before I babble about whatever, I'd just like to say... the standard operating procedure for medical things is totally ridiculous. For example, I got my diagnosis the last week of February. Three weeks later, I'm getting to see the specialist. I assume it will be another three weeks before I actually get to go to the clinic where they will teach me about the machine, and the medication and the diet and blah blah.
How stupid is that? It would be FAR MORE USEFUL for them to GIVE YOU A MACHINE as soon as you get diagnosed and send you to the clinic so you know what the hell is going on and THEN send you to the specialist. I mean to give you an idea of how stupid the way they are doing it is, the FIRST thing the specialist asked me when I went to see him was... so what are you sugar levels? Actually, it was the FIRST thing the receptionist asked me when she called to give me the appointment date. She was all... so you're monitoring your sugar right? And I'm like.. uhhhh no? Long pause on her side of the line. Oh. Okay fine. LIKE SO SORRY but I didn't KNOW I was going to get diabetes so I'm not like RUNNING around with a machine that I can use to suddenly start tracking my sugars.So the specialist is babbling away and I'm sitting there thinking, you know, if I didn't have friends with diabetes who had told me stuff before hand, I'd have no idea what you're blathering on about.
The other annoying thing is that diabetes has a set of specific symptoms, three of which I've been manifesting for the last couple of months. Now because I have some many other health problems, I just thought THOSE symptoms were related to my other health problems. For example, my blood pressure has been higher than normal. Turns out diabetes can push your blood pressure up. I've been PEEING constantly. I just thought it was because the new water pill I was on was a lot stronger than my old one. Turns out diabetes causes excessive peeing. I've been having problems focusing my eyes. I thought it was to do with my glaucoma. No, it turns out diabetes affects your nervous systems so it can cause blurred vision.
LIKE HELLO.... isn't that why you go to med school, so you can tell me these things? It wasn't until the blood work came back with elevated levels of whatever they look for with diabetes that I got the whole, oh yeah that's a symptom; that's a symptom; that's a symptom. It's almost like you, the patient, have to take the first two years of med school, so you can understand what your own body is telling you, because the idiot doctors can't connect the dots. I mean, honestly! I could have been diagnosed months ago probably.
So anyway, the doctor gave me a prescription for Crestor which is for lowering cholesterol and for Metphormin which is for lowering blood sugar. And he was all... I'll do a referral for the clinic and I want to see you back in a month, bring a list of your sugars. Now considering I don't know WHEN the appointment for the clinic will be, and you don't get a machine until you go to the clinic, that's another stupid thing right there. How am I supposed to monitor my sugars without a machine?
Luckily, my pharmacist is right next door, so when I went over to get the prescription filled I asked him for all the stuff you need to do that. To me there's no point in waiting around for it. LET ME TELL YOU IT'S HIGHWAY ROBBERY WHAT THEY CHARGE FOR THE BLOOD STRIPS. A box of one hundred strips cost 99.99. And of course neither the government medical nor my private medical plan covers that. And NATURALLY, each machine has it's own kinda strips so that you can't even ask your friend.. who has an awesome medical plan and pays two dollars for her strips to get you some. Unless you have the foresight to plan ahead and get the same kind of machine.
So then the specialist also sends me for some more blood work. He wants to do a special blood sugar test that can show what your sugars were for the last three months. Fine. And a urine test. Oh. Well, if only I HAD KNOWN... I wouldn't have peed before I left home. Couldn't they just SAY we may need to test your urine today, don't pee. I don't know. Maybe they think you have nothing else to do but run around all week getting tests done.
So I go there and they can't read the doctor's writing. The admitting desk is like okay, we'll do blah blah blah and I'm like... What about the pill? And the lady at the desk is all... pill? What pill? So I'm all... The doctor said you'd give me a pill and then take blood... the next day I think? And then the admitting lady looks at the sheet again... squints... holds it up to the light... goes to ask her colleague... I can hear her in the other room... I think that's a ver.. and it ends with a ist? OH! IT'S SUCH AND SUCH A TEST! OHHH OKAY!! Then she comes back out and changes the test she was going to do.
LIKE HOLY MALPRACTICE SUIT, BATMAN!!!! PEOPLE ARE GUESSING AT WHAT TESTS I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE DONE. THIS IS INCREDIBLY REASSURING TO ME!!!
So after we get THAT straightened out, she hands me this little bottle. We need a urine sample. I'm like... Uhh.. I peed already. I have none to give you. She's all... go try anyway; you never know! People should not be that chipper when asking for pee.
WARNING: NEXT FEW PARAGRAPHS HAS CONTENT RELATING TO BODY FLUIDS AND MALE AND FEMALE PARTS. PROCEED AT OWN RISK!
1
2
3
4
5
So I take this little bottle into the bathroom. Okay, if any guys should read this, I'll preface this part by saying no offense, gentlemen, but frankly? WHY THE HELL ARE THERE NO ANATOMICALLY CORRECT URINE SAMPLE BOTTLES FOR WOMEN???? Guys conveniently have this HOSE that they can just shove into the opening of whatever container they happen to get. Not so with women.
I'm in the bathroom with my little bottle squatting over the toilet trying to figure out what's the right place to hold the bottle so that if I do pee, it ends up in the bottle. I find myself wishing I had a mirror. Finally, I figure I've got the bottle somewhat in the correct spot and I squat there waiting for something to happen. *doo dee doo dee doo*
After a minute or so, I feel a tingle. Okay. *doo dee doo doo doo dee* I'm still waiting. Another minute goes by and I'm like cajoling my body, come on, come on! We haven't got all day! It's kinda like that whole waiting to sneeze sensation. Annoying as hell.
Finally, my bladder gets with the program and I pee. All over the bottle and my hand. Yay! My life is now complete. While I'm piddling all over myself, I keep shifting the bottle hoping like hell SOMETHING is getting in there and hoping when the lady said they only needed a little bit for the test, they were speaking literally. I finish and grab some toilet paper to wrap the bottle in because it's now damp.
I clean myself up and then I go wash my hands AND the bottle because I figure it's only polite not to give them back a pee soaked bottle. I kinda wonder if anyone else bothers. I even wipe down the counters with soap and water. The bottle is a quarter full. I hope that's enough.
The most amusing part of the whole day, however, was once again, THE GOWN! OMG!!! This time it was the paper kind. The person that came up with the paper gown should be shot. I suppose it's cheaper to use because you don't have to send them out to be washed or whatever but I HATE the paper gowns even more than the regular ones because at least the regular ones come in small, medium, large, so they can PRETEND like they have something to fit you. The paper ones are one size and I'm always afraid they're going to just rip apart anyway. And the plastic tie that goes with it is like 36 inches long, which means you have to have like an 18 inch waist to tie it around you. Needless to say, it was useless to me. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I would rather see the doctor naked. I would consider it much less insulting than to try to cram my body into a gown meant to be worn by a twig.
So! That was my day. How was yours?
