Day 50 - Diet is DIE with a T
Feb. 19th, 2010 10:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolfsbrideWent out to lunch with the boss instead of dinner today. As you can hopefully guess from the heading, one of us is on a diet. I can assure you it is not I. I don't believe in diets but some are worse than others. I shall describe it and let you draw your own conclusions.
1. It's a protein diet.
2. You have to buy their food.
3. You can't do any cardiovascular exercise on this diet because apparently it's too stressful on the body in combination with the diet.
4. You are not allowed to eat certain foods or certain seasonings. They helpfully provide their own seasonings.
5. You have to eat exactly what they tell you to eat. I.E. You are provided with a list of choices. Heaven help you if there's nothing on the list you like.
6. The SIDE EFFECTS include nausea, vomiting, headaches, diarrhoea. Supposedly this is from your body getting used to the diet. I could see if you were a junk food addict for thirty years and then suddenly switched to eating good food, MAYBE your body would go through withdrawal like symptoms, but as for me, I think this is more about the fact that you're eating nothing but protein. To paraphrase - Man can not live by protein alone. Or at least he probably shouldn't.
7. Most heinous of all - You're only allowed salad for lunch. And not just any kind of salad either. You're only allowed LETTUCE, BEAN SPROUTS AND DILL PICKLES. You can put your daily ration of soy beans on it if you wish and season it liberally with the quarter teaspoon of seasoned salt they allow you.
You can imagine how much fun lunch was. Since I am not on a diet, I ordered a combo platter which had a little of everything. My boss was at a massage appointment so by the time she joined me I was munching happily. She sat down and frowned. The events that followed:
Boss: *glaring at my plate* Why did you order that?
Me: Uh... Because I wanted to?
Boss: I can only have a salad, you know! *more glaring*
Me: Um. I didn't know I was supposed to be on this diet with you.
Boss: GLARE!
Waitress: Oh, you made it! What can I get you?
Boss: *growls* A salad! But I'm only allowed lettuce, bean sprouts and dill pickles.
Waitress: Uh... We don't have bean sprouts.
Boss: FINE!
Waitress: *looking at my boss pityingly* What kind of dressing?
Boss: NOTHING THANK YOU!
Waitress: *looking on with horrified disbelief* Nothing? Are you sure? I can get them to...
Boss: THAT'S FINE!
Waitress: *still unable to believe it* You... You're sure that's all you want???
Boss: YES!
Waitress: Okay. *goes away* Presumably to tell the kitchen about the clearly insane lady she just took an order from.
My boss spent the whole time that she waited for her salad to come talking about all the food she's not allowed to eat. And glaring at me. I should mention that she asked me to join the diet with her and I said no because I'm not insane. So I'm sure some of the glaring was her resentment about that but I'm sorry, I'm not into sympathy dieting.Anyway, her salad arrived and it was... pitiful. It wasn't even a heaping amount or anything. If I had to guess it was probably a cup of lettuce.
The waitress puts it down and turns to go.
Boss: There are CARROTS on this!
Waitress: I'm sorry?
Boss: I'm not allowed to eat carrots!
Waitress: Uh. I can get them to make you another one. *I can't really convey the amount of pity the waitress had for my boss. It was kind of amusing.*
Boss: No, it's fine! I'll just pick them out.
Waitress: Are you sure? I can get them to make another one!
Boss: NO, IT'S FINE!
The waitress left and my boss garnished the pathetic salad with her soy beans and sprinkling of seasoned salt. It took her all of ten minutes to eat it. To add insult to injury - they charged her the same as if she'd had a proper salad so she ended up paying ten dollars for that sad excuse for a salad.
So no, I don't believe in diets. Especially ones that make you jump through hoops. All I can see is that those sorts of diets make you focus on food even more than you normally would. My boss has been on this diet for three days and FOOD IS ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT. What she's going to eat. When she's going to eat it. How she's going to prepare it.
Food is consuming her instead of her consuming it.
1. It's a protein diet.
2. You have to buy their food.
3. You can't do any cardiovascular exercise on this diet because apparently it's too stressful on the body in combination with the diet.
4. You are not allowed to eat certain foods or certain seasonings. They helpfully provide their own seasonings.
5. You have to eat exactly what they tell you to eat. I.E. You are provided with a list of choices. Heaven help you if there's nothing on the list you like.
6. The SIDE EFFECTS include nausea, vomiting, headaches, diarrhoea. Supposedly this is from your body getting used to the diet. I could see if you were a junk food addict for thirty years and then suddenly switched to eating good food, MAYBE your body would go through withdrawal like symptoms, but as for me, I think this is more about the fact that you're eating nothing but protein. To paraphrase - Man can not live by protein alone. Or at least he probably shouldn't.
7. Most heinous of all - You're only allowed salad for lunch. And not just any kind of salad either. You're only allowed LETTUCE, BEAN SPROUTS AND DILL PICKLES. You can put your daily ration of soy beans on it if you wish and season it liberally with the quarter teaspoon of seasoned salt they allow you.
You can imagine how much fun lunch was. Since I am not on a diet, I ordered a combo platter which had a little of everything. My boss was at a massage appointment so by the time she joined me I was munching happily. She sat down and frowned. The events that followed:
Boss: *glaring at my plate* Why did you order that?
Me: Uh... Because I wanted to?
Boss: I can only have a salad, you know! *more glaring*
Me: Um. I didn't know I was supposed to be on this diet with you.
Boss: GLARE!
Waitress: Oh, you made it! What can I get you?
Boss: *growls* A salad! But I'm only allowed lettuce, bean sprouts and dill pickles.
Waitress: Uh... We don't have bean sprouts.
Boss: FINE!
Waitress: *looking at my boss pityingly* What kind of dressing?
Boss: NOTHING THANK YOU!
Waitress: *looking on with horrified disbelief* Nothing? Are you sure? I can get them to...
Boss: THAT'S FINE!
Waitress: *still unable to believe it* You... You're sure that's all you want???
Boss: YES!
Waitress: Okay. *goes away* Presumably to tell the kitchen about the clearly insane lady she just took an order from.
My boss spent the whole time that she waited for her salad to come talking about all the food she's not allowed to eat. And glaring at me. I should mention that she asked me to join the diet with her and I said no because I'm not insane. So I'm sure some of the glaring was her resentment about that but I'm sorry, I'm not into sympathy dieting.Anyway, her salad arrived and it was... pitiful. It wasn't even a heaping amount or anything. If I had to guess it was probably a cup of lettuce.
The waitress puts it down and turns to go.
Boss: There are CARROTS on this!
Waitress: I'm sorry?
Boss: I'm not allowed to eat carrots!
Waitress: Uh. I can get them to make you another one. *I can't really convey the amount of pity the waitress had for my boss. It was kind of amusing.*
Boss: No, it's fine! I'll just pick them out.
Waitress: Are you sure? I can get them to make another one!
Boss: NO, IT'S FINE!
The waitress left and my boss garnished the pathetic salad with her soy beans and sprinkling of seasoned salt. It took her all of ten minutes to eat it. To add insult to injury - they charged her the same as if she'd had a proper salad so she ended up paying ten dollars for that sad excuse for a salad.
So no, I don't believe in diets. Especially ones that make you jump through hoops. All I can see is that those sorts of diets make you focus on food even more than you normally would. My boss has been on this diet for three days and FOOD IS ALL SHE TALKS ABOUT. What she's going to eat. When she's going to eat it. How she's going to prepare it.
Food is consuming her instead of her consuming it.
