Apr. 8th, 2009

wolfsbride: (wolfsbride)
Like what? Did I piss off some higher power? A lifetime of bad karma finally coming due?? WHAT! I wish I knew so I could fix it because I can't handle this any more!

An old friend, who'd been diagnosed with stomach cancer, came by today. Guess I'd been fooling myself that between the chemo and radiation and pills and crap, he was going to be fine. Especially since he made it pass the designated death date.

Kinda can't do that any more. He was... There's pretty much nothing left of him. His clothes are falling off; his nose is now too big for his face, he's lost so much weight. He came to say goodbye. I hugged him tight and could feel his bones grinding.

I can't... I'm fucking sitting here at work, tears rolling down my face and the radio is mocking me by playing And When I Die by Blood, Sweat and Tears.

Seriously. I'm just going to go to bed and never get up again.

December 2012

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