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[personal profile] wolfsbride
So we were trying again with Mom's case worker. Apparently, they can do what is called an emergency assessment which allows them to place people somewhere, on a continuing temporary basis until more permanent facilities can be found. So, that is what my friend who is helping me had tried to arrange for today.

First off, the case worker was half an hour late. Then when she finally came, it was more of the same. She kept talking about in home help and adult day care programs and it only costs this much blah blah. So finally I said, look, let me put it in the most simplest terms possible. I am so emotionally and physically exhausted that I am more of a hindrance to my mother than a help. For example, if she eats, she eats; if she doesn't, I don't have the energy to care.

And STILL she went back to the in home care blah blah.

Again I interjected. Look. If I should COLLAPSE tomorrow, which is a real possibility, SURELY you have some sort of procedure regarding seniors who do not have any relatives or anyone to look in on them. To which she replied, well yes but that's not your situation.

After half an hour more of her going on and on about in home care, I asked what exactly does she need to do in order to start an emergency placement. Apparently, she would have to present my case as urgent. So I said, when you go back to your office, you do that because if I have to do this for much longer, it WILL be an emergency because I'll be dead and my mother will be sitting here starving to death. And I showed her the door.

What do you think the stupid woman did when she got back to the office. She apparently put in a call the the geriatric specialist because I got a call from their office. We want to set up an appointment for your mom. So I asked: What is it that you actually do? Because I don't want to waste my time and energy coming to see you if you're just going to pat my mother on the head and give her more pills.

And I guess that put the person on the phone in a bad mood because after I finished explaining how dire the situation was his reaction was to say well whatever. By this time I'm so annoyed by everyone's stupid attitudes that I said well thanks for totally blowing me off there. I guess we'll see if we are still alive three weeks from now to come to your appointment and I hung up.

At which point, the case worker phoned. Oh, I talked to the geriatric specialist! Like that was some great thing that she did. I asked her again about placement for mom. And again she gave me the same song and dance. Oh well, it might be two or three months before we can do anything! And when I said I don't know that I can do this for two or three more days let alone months, she said: WELL, JUST HANG IN THERE! So I let her have it as well. I said, it's fine for you to say hang in there, you're not the one having to hang in there!

And she said.. well if you feel like that just take her to the hospital. Not even in a caring way but in the way you'd say well just throw it in the trash. So I did.

We called 911 because we had been told it would get mom processed faster. That was a load of bull shit. It took three hours for them to send an ambulance. Which I can understand because mom's not dying or whatever but then we had to sit in a little corridor for two hours while the paramedics did their paperwork I guess and then they just shoved us in the regular waiting room anyway. So we could have just taken her to emergency by car.

Six hours of waiting in emergency, a doctor finally came to see us. Which was good because by that time my mom is incredibly agitated. I had visions of having to physically restrain her from leaving the hospital. I was having chest pains because my blood pressure was probably through the roof. At one point I thought, I'm going to end up in a bed next to my mother if this keeps up.

Fortunately, the doctor was actually a human being and I only had to speak a couple of sentences before he said oh no no, she definitely needs to be in the hospital. It was such a relief to have someone acknowledge that yes, she is as bad as you say she is because I spent the whole day listening to people who either didn't want to hear, couldn't hear or didn't care about what I was saying.

The whole day was just unbelievable. Pardon my language but JESUS CHRIST! Clearly, if you're not bleeding to death or foaming at the mouth, they don't want to know you. If our system is so underfunded this is the treatment you get, this is a travesty. People are not going to stop getting old. What the hell do they think is going to happen five years from now? Ten years from now?

Family is the first line of defense! Well that's all fine and dandy but then don't preach to people about elder abuse. This is WHY elder abuse happens because you're forcing families to look after not just themselves and their children but their aged parents as well and that's an impossible situation.

December 2012

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